I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
