Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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