the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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