idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
