did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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