you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sorry about my life...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
