You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
