the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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