we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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