so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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