He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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