they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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