it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
