Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize