You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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