Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Also, beer. Big fan.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
