Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
