I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
