You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
