And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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