The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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