This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
