Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
