you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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