Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she pinky promised me she was 18
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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