Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
