he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
