He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
