you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
