the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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