Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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