the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
