ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
