I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dicks are not precious.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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