I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You made out with two different species that night
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
