she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
