i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
