He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
