Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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