Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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