Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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