well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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