How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
