i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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