dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
