Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
