Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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