you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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