East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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