I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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