and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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