Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
