epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
