smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
false alarm, still single
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
