I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
