I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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