I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
