I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My bed smells like the plague
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize