i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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