So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncรฉ.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
