Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
