They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
