You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Are we still banned from the library?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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