Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He better not be in your backpack
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
