In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
